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Comments from White Walls
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2018-01-25 07:10:10 | The French Lesson | What I liked: good character development and dialogue. In my mind, this is the most important part of writing smut; it's what separates it from other erotic entertainment. What I think needs work: you did a great job of developing relationship dynamics and characters, but the sex/plot ratio is a little too small (IMO). You tease the reader for a little too long before action starts happening. Overall, really good stuff. Good characters, good interaction, and good (but long) build up. Keep up the good work! |
| 2018-02-02 16:41:37 | The Creators: Book One | @LoveHentai. Thanks for the kind words. I tried to distinguish the chapters with dashed lines so that it would be easy to scroll to them. If all else fails, you can always just press ctrl+f on your keyboard, and then type in the chapter you want to get to. The reason I'm updating only on this page is because this site doesn't let the author customize their profile page. If I could organize the stories on my page so that they would be seen chronologically, instead of by view count, then I would post this story chapter by chapter. I might change back to that if people think it's too much of a problem. Always appreciate your input! |
| 2018-02-19 17:45:39 | Duel Wielding | This was truly excellent. I don't know if you plan on writing a sequel, but if you do, a sensual "gay" scene would be great. Elyn making love to Conrad as she strokes him from behind, soft motions and gentle penetration, tender kisses on the neck as her breasts squish into his shoulders etc... Keep up the great work! I'll be reading more of your stories in the future. |
| 2018-02-27 17:28:43 | Two Halves of a Whole: Part 1 | Just and FYI to everyone reading this story, it's never getting finished. |
| 2018-03-03 19:34:52 | The Creators: Book One | @Radaghan Thanks for pointing that out, will fix it on next edit. There's going to be one more chapter on this page to finish off part one of a series, and after the climactic chapter 6, I'll start a new page for part 2. |