Magical artifact makes him irresistible to women, but has major side effects.
Mostly in a dream, I heard a man talking to somebody. “… didn’t pay for two days, so I opened the door and found him like that.”
I felt something squeezing my left arm and another male voice said, “BP is only 70 over 40, with pulse of 16. Only four breaths a minute, and temp is 93.”
I was annoyed they had pulled me out of my nice dream of chasing a goat up a mountain. I found the energy to say, “Lemme sleep.”
A blazing light blasted me in the right eye as a finger lifted my eyelid. “Sir, did you take any drugs? Are you high on something?” The damn laser-like flashlight moved to my other eye for a moment, then mercifully disappeared.
I felt a needle poke my right wrist. “Are you allergic to anything? Did you eat anything unusual recently?”
I felt myself chuckle as I remembered eating a weeks’ worth in only 24 hours.
“This is serious, sir. Do you have any health conditions we should know about? Diabetes? Heart problems?”
I returned to my dream, but the goat had escaped. DAMMIT!
-
I woke up later hearing a siren and felt somebody tapping my shoulder. “… adrenaline is working. He’s coming around. Can you hear me, Ronald? Ronald Junior is your name, right?”
I groggily mumbled, “Ron. Call me Ron.”
“Everything will be okay, Ron. We’re almost to the hospital.”
I opened my eyes and saw a lot of medical equipment, then realized I was in an ambulance.
“BP is back to 110 over 70, pulse of 64…”
I started to sit up, but the paramedic pushed on my chest. “Just lay down and take it easy, sir. A doctor will help you in only a few minutes.”
I saw snow falling out the window! It was WINTER! I needed to get HOME! I had to get home before I FROZE!
I pulled some wires off my chest and arm, pushed the man aside, and yanked the door handle. I saw we were speeding down the highway, going at least 80 miles an hour. I jumped out the back of the ambulance, rolled onto the pavement, and saw an 18-wheeler about to turn me into road pizza. I leaped from the roadway to the top of the cab, denting it in a little. I took several deep breaths, then jumped from the speeding truck to an overhead sign. I waited until there was a gap in the traffic, then gracefully dropped the 20 or so feet to the pavement.
I had to get HOME! I instinctively knew which way was west, toward my house in Utah. I started running through the ankle-deep snow in my bare feet. After a minute I realized I’d never make it there from Philadelphia in only jeans and a t-shirt. It was over 2,000 miles, so I had to get back to my truck.
My feet were extremely cold by the time I ran the 4 miles to the closest big box store. I went in and got some socks and a pair of boots, along with a winter jacket. As I walked to the cash register one of the employees said, “Sir, no shoes…” I glared into his eyes. “Na … no problem, sir.” He gulped.
By the time I made it the 20 miles back to my pickup truck, I was quite tired. I drove toward Utah, but after only an hour I realized I was too sleepy to go any further. I parked at a hotel and got a room. It was only 3pm, but I was dead tired. I also felt hungry enough to eat a horse, maybe two. I called room service and ordered two steaks and a whole fried chicken. By the time I finished eating it, I fell asleep on the bed.
I panicked when I woke up, with a large room around me. I quickly curled up in the closet with all the blankets again. I sat on the closet floor with a winter coat on and three blankets wrapped around me. I was sweating like crazy but felt a need to stay warm. My belly was filled almost to bursting again, but I wanted more food. I knew something was terribly wrong, and finally realized, THE FANG!
I lifted the necklace over my head and set it on the floor. I felt weak and anxious, but resisted the powerful urge to pick it up. I pushed the blankets away and took the heavy jacket off. It was a comfortable temperature, and I felt badly bloated from overeating again. I knew I had to either put the necklace away for the winter or find a way to hibernate.
I took a shower and felt tempted to put the necklace back on as I looked at it from across the room. I firmly turned my head away and thought about what I should do. I thought about it all night. I looked at the date on the morning news, and discovered I’d slept three whole days before the ambulance picked me up.
At 10am I considered having breakfast, but was still stuffed from my big meal the previous day. There was a knock at the door and a female voice, “Housekeeping”.
I opened the door and saw a slender African American lady around 35. I shyly tried to avoid her gaze. “Let me get my boots on, and I’ll get out of your way.
“It’s okay. You can sit in a chair and I’ll clean the rest.” She smiled and I could tell she liked me.
“Um … I’m gonna go get some coffee.” I got my coat and the fang necklace from the closet.
“Sure. I’ll be done in fifteen, maybe twenty minutes.” Out the corner of my eye, I saw her glance at me as I walked out the door. As I waited for the elevator I casually put the necklace over my head without thinking.
As the large tooth touched my chest, I could smell her from down the hall. The scent of her vagina was BREATHTAKINGLY appealing! I NEEDED IT! I ran back to my room. After a seduction that took all of ten seconds, she was kissing me. I squeezed her ass through her skirt as she thrust her pelvis against my hip.
Three orgasms and an hour later, she said, “It doesn’t make sense. You’re white, but that was the best sex of my life! Your dick is only average, but OHMIGOD can you use it!” I wanted to kiss her but fell asleep instead.
When I woke, I panicked and crawled in the closet again. It only took a few moments for me to realize I would be fine walking around and doing things, even outdoors in the middle of winter. I drove a snowplow for a small town part-time a couple of seasons, and only minded the cold one day when I forgot my gloves. People learned to deal with winter cold a quarter million years ago, but I still felt the terrible fear.
My new plan wouldn’t allow me to get my revenge for a long time, but I thought it would work well. I smiled as I contemplated drinks on the sand and beach bimbos everywhere. I got in my truck and headed onto the highway, thinking aloud, “Florida, here I come!”