| 2011-02-04 03:00:20 |
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i agree ^^^^ I also don't understand if she's "screaming the house down" how have their parents not caught on yet?... Though all in all it's so far so good |
| 2011-02-04 03:12:49 |
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Idk if it's just me or what but you totally lost me with this last part... The whole story was a little confusing and far fetched honestly... I'm not trying to be an ass just some constructive critism so hopefully that's how you tske it, I'm in college for creative writing. But yea it's really clear that you are very articulate and are good with words but just overall it was confusing and farfetched becuase not only did she get away with having sex with her brother but her sister condoned her having sex and kind of phasilitated it and I also son't understand why Bryan was at her sisters house?..... Just something to keep in mind!.. Keep writing I'd lve to read more of you work! |
| 2011-02-04 03:30:23 |
John's Surprise Meeting
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Great story!.. Introduced the characters very well! love the foot fetish i must say i have teh same fetish :) |
| 2011-02-04 03:59:40 |
A weekend with Leanne
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This whole story was great... The way you put it in both perspectives was great! please make a part 3!!!!.... by the way I ACCIDENTLY gave you a negitive rating but i DEFINITLY meant to give you a positive rating... AWSOME STORT |
| 2011-04-19 02:44:39 |
The Girl Next Door_(7)
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Good story... Needs more details and "Clit" isn't another word for pussy... I imagine you meant to use the word "Cunt" there |