| 2022-07-05 02:51:07 |
Getting Stoned with Mandy
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Well written. Nice changes of sexual positions and the added suspense of getting caught. Pregnancy worry is a bit unnecessary in my opinion, however I'm sure it is a turn on for some. You left everyone wondering what Mandy whispered so, nice setup to a part two if so inclined. Thank You I enjoyed it. |
| 2022-07-05 20:54:04 |
Naked Day - part 4
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Humor works here. It helps to build the characters. Good job. Thanks for writing. |
| 2022-07-05 20:56:26 |
Naked Day - part 3
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Good use of humor. It eases the cringe factor from imagining a large purple dildo up your ass. Thanks for writing. |
| 2022-11-16 18:16:03 |
Comforting Mom pt2 Grandma
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ctdave, I wrote this one because you asked for it. I assumed "ct" was for Connecticut, so I based part of the story there. I also used Dave as a character name. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm not sure where the story would go from here... but I'll give it some thought. No promises. |
| 2022-12-21 04:28:50 |
A New Day
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Nice start. You asked for feedback, so here goes. When you are done writing, read your story multiple times. Use a word program with a spelling and grammar check. The program you use when you upload also has spelling and grammar check. Take the time. I personally, don't care about a few mistakes. We're amateurs, a few are to be expected. Some people will beat you up over it. Not saying you MysteryByte. There is an age limit for sexual characters, 18 years old. If your character doesn't come across as 18, it won't get published. Try to write in a hint that characters are over 18 or in the introduction state all characters are over 18. It will help you later. I understand that this is a first chapter / part of a longer series, so you are character / story building. Most first parts are longer because of that. I gave you a positive vote. It being your first story, don't let haters get you down. Write because you have fun writing. Good luck. |